Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Poetry that I wrote in a tortured moment of despair

My beautiful Angel
In loving memory of Audrey Katniss Hepner.  Taken from my arms November 23, 2012

I sat down today and all I felt was fear.
I couldn't remember her cries or her coos.  
I couldn't remember her smile or her laugh.  
I miss her so deeply, I yearn for my little girl.  
I scream inside, I cry outside. 
My angel baby is here,
Audrey Katniss,
Saying your name out loud,
I remember your smile, 
I remember your love,
I remember your sweet weight,
I miss those things desperately,
I love you my guardian angel,
I grieve for my little Katnip,
But I know,
I will hold you again some day,
I will kiss and hug you,
Tell you all that you missed,
Cuddle you close,
Finally finding peace,
In the arms of my Angel Audrey.



This Mommy
written in a time of great grief

My sweetest little angel baby,

I carried you inside,
Dreaming, Hoping,
Singing, Dancing,
Living, Loving,
Envisioning,
You were my world,
This mommy grieves for you.

I held you,
For two short months,
Seeing you change,
Seeing you grow,
Watching the looks of wonder,
Hearing you soft cries,
Seeing your first smile,
Hearing your first giggle,
This mommy loves you.

Then THAT day happened,
I can never forget that fear,
The dreadful soul deep pain,
I will never forget,
I wanted more than anything,
To go back in time,
To make the world stop spinning,
To forget for a while,
But this mommy misses you.

My little Audrey,
Is now my guardian angel,
That I will never again feel, 
Never see you smile,
Never kiss your face,
Or feel you touch my cheek again,
I see you in my mind,
Feel you in my soul,
But the hole in my heart,
It is never ending,
This mommy aches for you.


It hurts so much,

I see babies and cry,
hear their cries,
and my chest constricts,
I miss you baby girl,
My little Katnip,
I grieve and hurt,
Never to be whole again,
Wishing I could see you,
Kiss your sweet face,
Tell you I love you,
Just one more time.

Please remember my baby girl,
This mommy grieves for you,
This mommy aches for you,
This mommy misses you,
This mommy loves you
Just one more time.